A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
