you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize