some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Randomize
