You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
