No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
