I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
