so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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