Im at strip club and am horny
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
