I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
