i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
