i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
