Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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