Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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