It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
