I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
When are your genitals available?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
