I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
