Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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