nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
