You work out of a Hotel?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
