when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
