Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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