yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
