So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
