you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
