oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Your dad touched me again.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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