love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize