Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
soo... how was my night?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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