she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
