It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
