I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I would ride that face into the sunset
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
