I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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