we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
