From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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