The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
