I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
