well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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