I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize