She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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