Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
