I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
