How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
