i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize