just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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