16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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