Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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