i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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