This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize