you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
