I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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