u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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