We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
