I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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