my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
