Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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