I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
