she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
