I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Holy sore nipples Batman
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
