There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
In America we eat man semen.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
