Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize