Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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