i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Hippo gnu deer
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
