Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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