69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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