just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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