just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize