dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
